IwaNt@3a.m.

Booze off on the streets of Miami and Vegas; doze off with Angelina jolie and wake up spooning Megan fox; jump off the Eiffel tower and land in the ocean racing with dolphins; party the whole night then teleport to the other side of the globe before the sunrise, party again; a ride on the batpod and an excursion with Dr.WHO; a meal with the Pope and a Cigar puff with the Hulk; an album with PSY and the whole fucking world-bank in my bank balance; foot massage by a playboy model and a hand-shake with Tyrion Lannister. Yes, this is all I want and I want it right NOW!!

Love-tion!

A feeling, an emotion , an expression beyond description;
source of my elation , and reason of all the aberration;
After putting everything to summation and all the permutation,
Here comes my conclusion..

It is LOVE, and people sometimes do call it a Desperation !

For all those in a hurry, wait for it buddy, it needs time for respiration.
Hope this was a useful creation..

Statutory Warning: This write-up is not a reliable source of inspiration. ;-)

Y U No HappY ?

Sometimes, we say ,'Yes, everything is perfect', neglecting the universal adage 'Nothing Is Perfect'. Perfect or not perfect is a 'don’t care shit' until you are happy from the core of your heart. What does it take to be happy everyday? ;  Money? Power? respect? ;  May these play a contributing role but aren't a perennial source to the happy feeling. The star ingredient to complete the recipe is 'self-satisfaction'. Only if you are happy with yourself, u can be happy with others. The satisfaction lies within a bunch of yes’ and no’s, any alteration in any of the yes’ and no’s alters happiness to sadness.
'Yes, I have done my work with sincerity', 
'Yes, I have made my parents proud', 
'Yes, I have done a good thing today' , 
'Yes, I have contributed to the society', 
'Yes, I dream and will achieve it someday', 
'Yes, I could bring a smile on someone else’s face' , 
'Yes, I gave my 100%'; 'No, I haven’t betrayed anyone', 
'No, I haven’t misbehaved', 
'No, I haven’t hurt anyone's feelings' , 
'No, I didn't break any law', 
'No, I didn't trouble any innocent', 
'No, I dint do something which I have to regret for later'. 

Many a times we are ambivalent about a task or an event or even with our behavior  many a times we abhor ourselves and wish to abscond away from the eyes of the world, many a times world is lonelier than ever and friends seem to be aliens,; yes it is depression and can be with anyone. Its just like a black hole which engulfs the victim into its wide mouth and the victim instead of retaliating, starts to like this and goes on deeper and deeper into the clutches of this ogre. Here the only savior is the belief that 'Its not too late, things can and will definitely change' and ' You are happy, even if there is no one to share this happiness with'. Everyday is not a Sunday and there comes morning after every night. Satisfaction that You haven’t done wrong to anyone and if at all you did , then you regret it, and make sure that you won’t let it happen ever. Believe in yourself, and devote your time in something you like and enjoy. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, it aint necessary to please someone but it is to not harm anyone. You are the master of your own life, live it for yourself, live it to the fullest and enjoy maximum. Remember, it was you out of the million sperms who made it to get a life, if that is possible then what not? There is nothing that you can’t do, Its just that you need to push yourself more and try harder. 

The G-121 ka dhamaka!!

School life ho gayi khatam, pata hi na chala,
saare dost kahan chale gaye, sabka contact no. hi badal gaya;
banaye naye dost engineering ki field me humne,
yaad rahenge wo din jab jaate the hum ek saath ghumne;
karte the bahut masti, udaate the ek doosre ki khilli,
kya khana hai jaldi batao, geera glass aur ho gayi patloon gili !
muvi dekhne chalen? 'kamsin kali lagi hai!' ,
anjal bola: nahi bhai mujhe sardi lagi hai :( ;
sardi se muvi ka kya connection? kiya sanchay ne raise question..,
samjha karo bhai, sardi k karan hogaye hain patni k saare exit points me loose connection! ;)
gana chalao yaar , nakra ne ki farmaaish,
hindi gana chalata hun, sanchay bola, puri karta hun teri khuwaish;
chal sanchay, ho jaaye ek cricket ka game,
dhat!, GRE padhna hai, nahi hai time mere pass for ur match, wo v lame;
bhook lagi, kuch kholte hain na yaar, bola nakra,
chal patni khila de aaj tu masale wala khakra;
chodi kya tune?, puchta sanchay mujhse..,
mmhmmmm!, spray kar jaldi patni, kahta saale kya dushmani hai humse?! ;
aaj tu tala khol bolta patni mujhse,
Oo, yaar jor ki susu aayi, mai karke aaya jaldi se..;
aise the hamare din, yaad rakhunga mai yaaron,
saal me ek get-together rakhenge, in london, paris or morroco.

The' Ch@ddi Dance'

THE CHADDI DANCE!!

One fine evening, when many of the hostel folks were busy witnessing the much awaited India-England match, few unfortunate were bound to involve themselves in other stuff which were up in their ‘things to do’ priority list. Yes, it was me with my ex-roomie, right at the corner of the washroom, seeing each others faces’ hazy reflections in the bucket dumped with dirty cloths. Apparently , leaving the cloths soaked in hot detergent water weakens the strains and reduces the much of the muscle work. Hostel life teaches you all this! When we could take no more of our pleasing reflections, we decided to give it a damn, and to put our muscles through some real drill. Life gets monotonous at times, but I must say this is the most vulnerable phase of any creative mind to come up with his magnum opus. Yes, we couldn’t restrict the creative ogre in us, and inspired by the ‘Gangnum Style’ lad, we too made our own rocking dance, called it ‘THE CHADDI DANCE’. ! lets have a brief description. But before that some statutory warning:

        1)      People with boxers shouldn’t try this, only v-shape allowed.

        2)      Commando running people, you are missing a lot.

        3)      Active hand movements required, people with good masturbation practise preferred.

So, here it goes, lets start. 1 2 3..

Firstly, rest your ass on an imaginary horse. Then raise your hands(holding an underwear), making complementary angle to your belly. Each hand should be holding the cut portion of the same underwear. Now, let the music start, all you have to do is rub both your palms against each other to wash the underwear. After 2-3 seconds of rubbing, give it a pause, turn 60 degree clockwise, keeping your legs still in the initial position, and now repeat the same act. Hence, producing a mind-boggling chaddi dance, no wonder the underpants will also get washed. Fascinating it is and an excellent way to get yourself familiar to some dance steps. Try it, then only you will know it! 

LovE yoU HameShA

Baarish me lejaaunga long-drive pe ice-cream khilaane,

Sham ko karenge walk beach k kinaare;

Weekend pe 9 se 12 ki picture dikhaane lejaaunga,

Aadhi raat me v tujhe pyaar se sahlaaunga;

Sapna hai mera k chaand pe ghar banaunga,

Taaron ki roshni se pure ghar ko sajaunga;

Ho gaya jhagda kav, toh pahle mai hi tujhe manaaaunga,

Rooth gayi agar kav tu toh khaana v pakaunga;

Pata hai torture hoga mera banaya hua khaana,

Tension not mujhe aata hai aur v tarikon se tujhe manana;

Candle ki light me karenge hum dinner,

Complement dunga tujhe ‘baby u have got thinner and sexier’;

Karenge hum apne garden me sham ko ball dance,

Thoda sa naadan hun madam, galti ho jaaye toh please give me one more chance;

Badle me nahi maangta kuch jyaada,

Bas dena tu mera saath hamesha;

Tere bina zindagi se gayab ho jaayegi sweetness,

Baby u are the only source of happiness;

Wada hai tujhse har wafa mai nibhaaunga,

Saari zindagi tujhe palkon pe baithaaunga;

Budhi v hogayi tu, tab v mera love rahega pahle ki tarah intact,

Fevicol ka jod hai madam, nahi hai koi muvi ka dramebaaz act;

Maana k thodi jhuriyaan pad jaayegi on your face,

But i m sure, my love will not go out of pace;

Piyenge saath me hum coconut ka paani,

Us umar me v bana k rakhunga tujhe apni raani;

Potae potiyon ko sunaayenge apni love story,

Baby jab tak rahunga mai, u won’t have to worry;

Teri taarifon k pul tab v mai baandhunga,

Luv u jaan karte karte kav na mai rukunga;

Guiness buk of world records me naam hoga hamara,

We will be listed under the category-couple sabse pyaara;

Akele na kav chodunga tujhe ye wada hai mera,

Saari umar rahega sawar junoon, kiska ? are jaan offend na ho, sirf tera  :*

Holi Aayi ...

Duniya k v Rang niraale haiN,
dekho aaj sab hoLi me kaise Laal Pile hain;
Dekho aaye bache pichkaari lekar,
bade v hain chal pade mann me umang bharkar;
ho rahi hai rangon ki bauchaar har taraf se,
"LaaL kitne ka diya bhai sahab?", puch rahe bache rang wale uncle se;
Dost dushman bane sab Bhai-Bhai,
Chalon khelen holi , bahut ho gayi ladai;
bacha apni khadoos padosan aunty pe rang uchalta hai,
"Bura na maano aunty aaj holi ka mauka hai";
Boy-friend apni Ex ko gulal lagata hai,
"kaisi ho jaan?,yaad hai hum pahli baar yahin pe baarish me bhige the..,av v meri yaad aati hai?";
School ho gayi band, bachon ko mili holi-day;
"Mem-sahab mai holi khelne jaayegi apne pantar k saath'', gangu bai ko v mila off-day;
Papu bola "dadaji aap nahi kheloge holi?'',
dada ji ne kaha" dadi k saath date hai meri, but only after tum jaldi se jao khelne holi..";
Bache budhe sab aaj kitne khush hain dekho,
kisi k mann me koi bair nahi, chamatkaar hi ho gaya hai maano;
Holi aayi khushiyan lekar, manao ise dhum-dhaam se,
chuk the work man !, ek din off v lo tum apne kaam se;
rakho apna ego on a side,
Papu bola apni crush se"babes chalogi on a ride?";
kisi ke liye chutti , toh kisi ke liye ek chance maarne ka mauka,
aayi yaaron holi, mila hai jo mauka, maar do chauka;
duniyan k v rang kitne niraale hote hain,
Ek din baad sab phir apne "routine work" me rang jaate hain...

HapPy HoLI :D   

How to name it ? cocktail , havoc or LOKPAL

Finally after all the debate and drama in the so called "legislative" houses, LOKPAL fell in the no mans land, while the whole of India was waiting for this bill to be passed with bated breath.Amongst the waffles of the house members , it seemed that LOKPAL would wade its way to the Indian constitution, though it wagged the whole time from 'ayes' to 'noes'.  Arun Jaitley , spokesperson of BJP addressed the bill as a 'political cocktail' and a 'constitutional havoc' in the very beginning of the session. "  You cannot mix the law under two different articles, namely article 252 and 253",jaitley pointed.He also attacked the Govt. on the CBI issue. He propped the US law and urged that CBI, the prime investigating body of the country, must be brought under the LOKPAL. Jaitely also opposed the inclusion of PRIVATE ORGANISATIONS, NGOs and any agency that doesnt take aid of any sort, from the Govt, in the LOKPAL and dint falter to call it as a "revenge provision". "Why to make a phoney LOKPAL which deviates from its prime objective of  'for the people,by the people' to 'for the Govt.,by the Govt.',",he exclaimed. According to the BJP speaker the Govt. is trying to make a "constitutionaly vulnerable" law by having a reservation quota in the election of the members of LOKPAL.Not less than 50% minorities in a lokpal consisting of 9 members, will create a Govt.bias LOKPAL, jaitley argued. Futhermore ,he showed his disappointment in the removal procedure of the lokpal's members by the supreme court. He stated that Govt. is making it tedious and time consuming by having such a baffling round-robin working mechanism of lokpal. FinalLy, under the light of numerous allegations, he concluded by pointing lokpal as unworkable and absurd. BJP also put forward mr. jethmalani ,who although normaly find a clash of thoughts with BJP, but this time he managed his views to be in treaty with BJP. He attacked the congress speaker, Mr.Singhvi's lines by quoting " power corrupts, but the prospect of losing power corrupts absolutely". At last due to the an unending war of allegations and drama, the session ended without reaching a conclusion. Now the question is who wears the crown of this victory, victory of corruption?, The Govt. , The opposition, Team anna or The General public? Well , let the crown be taken by any of the aforementioned, but it is the general public who will have to pay the price. But am sure it will return it with compound interest to the Govt. in the next elections. JAAGO INDIA JAAGO.

Jaitley and Singhvi crossing swords

Cal him wid ur tender heart,
soon he wil arrive in his royal cart,
celebrate wid rum n cake,
he wil bless u wid gifts no fake,
love n joy is all wat he wants,
please forget,for a day, all ur rants,        
Red is his favorite attire,
gives everything dat u desire,
christmas carol he always sings,
i think he needs to dye his hair strings ! :P
enters thru the chimneys of ur house,
yes,he is known to us by the name of 'Santa Claus' !
'Religion no bar' is his philosophy,
so say gud bye to all ur melancholy...

MerRy ChrIsTmAS !!! 

DeLhi BellY........ S#iT HAPPENS

U expect diamonds worth 2 crores , but loose shit packed in a chawanprash bottle is what u get .. this is DELHI BELLY for u.. Apt is the name because the parcelled shit is the manufactured product of a fat ass's BELLY which got its raw material from a fast food stall located in one of the common streets of DELHI. The story revolves around the 30 jewel pieces that land up ending their fate inside a showpiece placed in an almirah. Movie gets a perfect start highlighting the pity condition of the 3 not so successful friends cum room mates who somehow manage to earn their survival and adjust with the woes of the torturing room. Imran being a struggling journalist in the movie, gave an character justifying performance along with his fellow friends, the balaatkaari photographer( rapes with his photographs ) and the cartooni ( the cartoonist ) . It seems the production house tried its best to get their product an 'A' grade certi by including the words like M**..C**, B**..C**.., CHU**.. and many more , in every alternate dialogue , though it sounded weird at times, the reason being the incapability of bringing that passion while using these words, i would say. Hilarious use of words like " LOONDRY" and " TATTI ", kisses, the ORAL SEX drama, the REAL SEX drama, Imran's ERECTION, the song D K BOSE , BHAG CHUDAIL, all added a different flavour to the movie.

It also covers many weird scenes like- the stall wala serving food with the hands that scratched his private parts a moment ago, guy washing his shit back with the fruit juice , gun being pointed on a man's balls and dynamite being fitted at a guys back, all this and many more .one more thing that was running through my junk brain was y the hell the actress of the movie wore the same outfit in almost the entire movie?! Is aamir khan's production running out of money or aamir considers blue as his lucky colour and there was only that piece of cloth blue in colour or it was the only outfit that made the girl look decent ! 

 

A brilliant performance by MR.VIJAY RAAZ, who perfectly managed to give his character a balanced comic and serious, danger look.

No doubt a low budget project but the fabulous idea, fantastic performances and the hilarious songs, overshadowed the budget completely. The only disappointment was its short duration, with the kind of start and the publicity and the expectation level of the fans , many would have wanted the movie to entertain them for the full 3 hours . Only one hour  40 mins performance made the song “ saabun k shakal me ye toh nikla bas jhaag” completely apt.  Overall a good one time watch i would say, enjoy going with your friends and gf ;))